Introverts, it’s time to be your own leader8 min read

by | Blog |

Self-leadership, késako?

It basically means, being your own leader.

“But wait, what is a leader exactly? Isn’t it a boss or a manager? Someone who manages a team?”

Let me reply to that: no. Not necessarily. A leader differs from the boss or the manager because:

  • He doesn’t need a title to be seen as someone to follow
  • He has a positive impact on his followers
  • He is confident and has great communication skills
  • He sees abundance
  • He lifts other’s up and helps them to be great

A manager can be a leader, but most of them aren’t. If you aspire to be a manager, aspire to be a leader. Not only will you feel more fulfilled but also help others along the way.

Now. What I am talking about is being your OWN leader.

Let’s shift this situation:

“I am not worthy of success or love and I am ugly” to “I can do this, I just need to gain more skills, fail more and be consistent. Also, I’m poppin’ (say that while looking at the mirror)

Let’s talk about how you can be your own leader

Stand for yourself

The first step is being your own advocate, your own lawyer. Do you stand up for yourself or just brush it off saying “oh well, it’s okay to be disrespected, no need to make a fuss”.

The more you do that, the less respect for yourself you will have and the less YOU, you will feel.

I am not saying you should be LOUD if you are QUIET. Quiet power is a powerful tool but be assertive. Don’t be passive, don’t be passive aggressive, be assertive. If you truly believe that the person has done you wrong, say it calmly with respect.

Work on self-esteem: love yourself

Even before standing for yourself, you should learn how to love yourself.

I will be honest with you, that’s something I am still working on. Maybe you won’t believe me, but you can have a high self-confidence and low self-esteem.

How does it look like?

Well, I am going to give you my own story.

I never loved my body, was always body shaming my own self. Went through “body dysmorphia” (I thought I looked bigger than what I was when actually I was super skinny).

Yet, at the same time I was doing IT: traveling across continents, speaking Chinese, getting into one of the best master’s degrees in Paris in International management, doing some public speaking abroad, landing a cool job at a 500 company.

I wasn’t happy. Why? Because I didn’t internalize those successes and was consistently looking for external reasons to be happy when everything should have started inside.

Working on your self-love, limiting beliefs, mindset and emotions in order to be your best self and be that INTROVERT at work!

Do you have a vision?

One important characteristic of a leader is to have a vision. Where are you going? Did you take some time alone to reflect? Are you sure that’s what you want? Have you done the research?

Be careful what you wish for though so make sure you are not wishing for something that someone else or society wants you to do.

Are you toxic or uplifting?

We have to talk about how your self-talk is important but not let’s talk about the impact on others.

  • Are you negative: toxic, gossiping on others, criticizing?
  • Are you positive: uplifting people, inspiring people, solving problems.


Self-confidence is all about: “feel the fear and do it anyway”. You know you will figure things out and are okay with failing over and over again until you reach the level of success you want. 

Learning and growth mindset

Just like a leader would train his team members to help them grow. You should own a growth mindset.

Learn something new every day: self-help, philosophy, religion, science, technology, music.

It doesn’t have to be correlated with your full-time job, it can be a hobby. This will stimulate your mind, lead to more fulfillment and develop your inner joy.

Take decisions (stoicism)

Finally, a leader takes hard and difficult decisions. Quitting my job wasn’t an easy decision.

Moving to another country or going back to school isn’t either. So how can we facilitate the process of taking those decisions?

The best way to do it is a method shared by Tim Ferris that he drew from Stoicism (an Ancient Greek Philosophy).

“We suffer more from imagination than our reality” Seneca

Step 1: Take aside at least 1 hour and pick up a journal

Step 2: Visualize the worst case scenario

Step 3: Write on your page “What if I do XXX” then draw 3 columns:

  • Define: Different events that could happen
  • Prevent: How could you prevent each of them?
  • Repair: If those events do happen, how would you repair the situation?

Step 4: The cost of inaction – Status Quo (feelings, health, financially, etc.)

Then, give a rate on a scale of 1 to 10, what would be the cost of inaction:

  • in 6 months
  • in 1 year
  • in 3 years

I am going finish with: “Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life” Jerzy Gregorek.

Mama Sow
Introvert blossom mentor. I am here to help you introverts to crush it at the office and shift your mindset around introversion.
26 years old and in love with learning more about human behavior, psychology and philosophy.

Mama Sow

Introvert blossom mentor. I am here to help you introverts to crush it at the office and shift your mindset around introversion.
26 years old and in love with learning more about human behavior, psychology and philosophy.

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