Why you should stop using your introversion as an excuse10 min read

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Are you drained all day after a day of work? Are you tired of living life according to your parents or friends’ expectations? Are you playing small in your career because you say you are “an introvert”?I am going to be brutally honest in this article, why? Because I genuinely and honestly want to help you go forward in your career!

I am rude, but not my fault, I am an introvert …

 

Amy landino talked about that in her storytime video about a networking event she went to and met a rude introvert. The excuse was “He is an introvert” .. what?? So being an introvert means can’t respect people?

Just a disclaimer: I am not saying that the statements ” we are introverts living in an extroverted world” and “being misunderstood most of the time” is false because it is indeed true.  Sometimes, we have to deal with that “hostile” environment. However, if God made extroverts and introverts, there is a reason, we complete each other!

Could you imagine a world with everybody being the same on how we relate to the external world? Honestly, that would be hella boring …

Another point I want to stress you, people (extroverts and introverts alike) put too much attention towards introversion.

It is just a personality trait. That’s it!

Yes, it is playing a huge role in how we deal with the outside world, and obviously, If I created my business “introvert blossom”, it’s because I believe we need a place where we can understand each other.

However, just like communities for LGBT, for Black people, etc. we need a place to unite to help each other as we do have common struggles.

After saying all of that, you have to know that we all have some extroversion in us. Some of us are in the middle (ambiverts) and some of us far away into the introspection spectrum (like me 80% ish).

Social media for introverts: a place to relate, unite and … complain a lot

I went on Instagram and Facebook to see how introverts where uniting and the only thing I could see is negativity, blame and complaining. Don’t get me wrong, I love memes they are funny and I understand that we, human beings, need to relate to others in order to feel connected.

We need to feel that we are understood and that is the reason why memes and cartoons work very well in the introvert community.

The issue is the more I thought about it, the less I wanted to build a business around it!
I really want to help fellow introverts, I love cartoons and memes. Yet, everything in life depends on our actions, not our wishes! Improving ourselves, going forward and growing.  I wondered: “Do those people take action instead of consistently complaining about the situation?”

Me too I was that girl that complained: “I have no friends”, “nobody likes me”, “I can’t talk in front of my class” etc.

BS! The moment I stopped the “blaming game”, and started embracing my introversion, I decided that my life was going to be full of growth and action.

I realized, in order to thrive as an introvert in an extroverted world I had to build: Self-confidence, Self-esteem and communication skills.

Take responsibility and take your power back

 

Take responsibility for your own life! Complaining is fine for 10 minutes or 1 day if you really had a bad day but then you have to get back in the game.

That is what I did! Day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year (you get where I am going here), I developed my self-confidence and my communication skills by going out of my comfort zone slowly but surely.

I didn’t become an extrovert, I become my true self and find ways to navigate this incredibly diverse world to avoid the situations I don’t like or simply get to the next level in my career and life in general.

Sure thing it worked! I am far from being perfect and do feel shy in certain situations + I am still an introvert and can’t feel comfortable in huge groups of people, but I have found my ways to do it on my terms!

People think that I am “a natural” at public speaking, during my master’s degree because I felt so comfortable … What they didn’t know, is that I prepared that presentation, rehearsed and worked hard.

The next step of all of this, therefore, is: improve your communication skills.

Improve your communication skills to get the career you want, save your energy and climb the ladder on your terms!

 

When you take responsibility, stop playing the blaming game, it is time to go next level. We are here on earth living in society. We are meant to live with others and cohabitate.

That means making concessions. If your extroverted mom or friend wants to go out, then do it at least once every 3 to 4 times if you truly care about that person. In any relationship, it’s give and take – everyone has to make efforts to make it work.

At work, you work hard and smart and (hopefully) your company rewards you with a promotion, a raise or some kind of recognition.

Developing your communication skills also allows you to actually avoid the energy-sucking moments! Let’s say you are at work and your colleagues are asking you out for an after-work. What do you do? Lie? Say nothing and ignore them? get upset ? That can lead to bad consequences.

Communication skills not only helps you go forward in your career but also in life. Communication is not only about speaking but about listening and observing, which, introverts love doing!

It’s not about talking more. It’s about understanding others better and how to talk (tone, vocabulary, listening, observation, the different type of communication).

It can even go deeper and definitely involve human psychology and mindset. just like when a girl says: “I am fine”, when you are conversing with someone from another culture, communication can help you understand what they truly mean.

In China, “Shi” (translated as “yes” in English even though not really accurate) doesn’t mean a literal yes in the occidental or even African way. It just means I hear you … Since the cultural aspect of the face (Mian Zi) is super important for Chinese people they don’t want you to lose face. If you work with Chinese people you indeed have to be aware of that.

You have to understand others whether they are extroverts, ambiverts or  introverts to build genuine work relationships and respond in an effective manner.

It’s not what you say it’s how you say it!

Self-confidence and self-esteem

Lastly, self-confidence, meaning the fact of knowing that you will eventually figure things out is a key component to thriving and making decisions.

We all have self-doubt but low self-confidence makes you play small.

Unfortunately, if you don’t take responsibility for your own life, blaming others, you are giving your power to others and the environment. Meaning no power (or not much power) left for you!

Loving your self, as cliché as it may sounds is as important as self-confidence.

You can make it in your career even without it, but at one point you will feel miserable and unhappy.

I only started working on my self-esteem very recently and I can tell you I was not happy even though I had no real reason to be unhappy (if that makes sense).  Working on your self-esteem is key to have success on your own terms either in life or your career.

Introversion is just one side of the coin. All of these: culture, education, passions, society, health and so on are all part of who we are. Self-limiting beliefs such as: “I am an introvert” excuse doesn’t make you grow.

Stop playing the victim, take responsibility, build self-confidence, self-esteem, reclaim your power and take action by improving your self-awareness and communication skills while embracing your introversion.

Quit whining and get going, you can do this!

Mama Sow
Owner of Introvertblossom.com and Youtuber

Mama Sow

Owner of Introvertblossom.com and Youtuber

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